10 things

I read this on someones facebook page and I liked it.

1)Learn to like yourself just as you are

2)Identify what is important

3) Downscale

4)Determine to live in the present

5)Set goals, Take risks, Be willing to Fail

6)Manage your time

7)Choose a positive attitude

8)Maintain friendships

9)Laugh

10)Pause

10 great steps to enjoying life......

1)Learn to like yourself just as you are

working on this one!lol! Please God and everyone is but dust..................

2)Identify what is important

God, Family, Friends...

3) downscale/simplify

don't clutter my life with too much stuff, simplify and enjoy

4)Determine to live in the present

Live more in the now than in the future or the past, let myself move past my mistakes and move onto new adventures and new mistakes. In the midst of those moments enjoy a grande americano with room and 2 creams everyday....

5)Set goals, Take risks, Be willing to Fail

I am good at setting goals,I have more journals with to do lists in them than my mother has knick knacks from garage sales, accomplishing them is a different story. Risks, I am not good at taking these, but I could try and I will. I hate failing though, I would rather not try at all than fail which is so sad, i truly admire those who have attempted at fulfilling their dreams, i wish I was that gutsy. so I will try to take some risks and enjoy some of my failures! This year i will create a new barbie doll!!!!!!!!!

6)Manage your time - Buy a new alarm clock and a cell phone that rings this should help.

7)Choose a positive attitude

Change your brain , change yourself. The brain that changes itself. Read these books, save myself! Prayer is key. Be thankful.

8)Maintain friendships

Yes, yes, yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I need my friends. Everyone of them, they are all so very different and I love that. They have all helped me through so many different places over the years and most would never know how much help they were. I love them all , old and new...

9)Laugh

I have the best husband in the world, I can be seriously miserable and he will make me laugh and I forget everything. He is funny all of the time, we have a blast together. I am sure every girl feel s this way about her hubby but this is so true, he is the most amazing man ever and soooooo funny!

10)Pause

Be still and know that I am God.

Sometimes I need to stop and wait. Relax and remember that I do not have to figure out the answer to every problem, He is God and I am His. Just wait, no matter how crazy life is, He will sort through things I can barely stand to think about. Pause, be still and enjoy the present.

beautiful sunshine...please stay

The weather has been wonderful and I want it to stay. I am dreaming about the summer and all of the adventures I would like to have this summer.

Now Nath will probably have the summer off and our ideas of adventures are kind of different. He has been watching this documentary type show/reality show called man vs wild.

In this show this man travels all over the world, he gets dropped off in the most remote and difficult places to survive from the desert to glaciers. The point of each episode is to teach us all watching specific survival skills on how to get food water and of course how to make it out alive. I will never be interested in drinking my own urine or squeezing out camel dung so I can survive on the juices. I think my favorite was where he skinned a dead sheep, some how he skinned it perfectly so that it was the exact shape of a sleeping bag and he just turned it inside out so the fluffy wool was on the inside, he called it his sheeping bag. There was one episode where he found a dead camel and to sleep he carved out the insides and crawled inside to sleep. No thank you.

Anyway since Nath started watching this our little plans of hiking and camping have drastically changed. I am pretty sure I am not invited on the hiking trips planned now, I think I am too much of a princess for that.

I want to camp like crazy though actually i would like a repeat of the camping trip we had last year at stamp falls. So beautiful out there and the most amazing sound being so close to the water.So hopefully the weather will stay and we can plan the summer out soon! I am also very excited about the summer wedding at the end of August too, it should be a summer of partying!

It was the most beautiful morning yesterday when i drove nath to work. I wish every morning was this pretty, the mountains and the sun were so amazing.....so I had to take pictures.

Yesterday I was able to visit my friends at the zoo. I went with my mom, my sister in law and her mom who is visiting from England and of course Connor who is the cutest sweetest little man ever. I love the zoo!!!!!!!Not as much as the aquarium but so close, these are the places you get to go and be a kid and I am a kid I need theses places just so I can be the real me!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love the giraffe and I want one, but we aren't allowed a dog so I have a feeling the giraffe is probably out of the question. I am supposed to be writing out my devotional for tomorrows youth night but instead I am on here blogging, my mind is very busy today.

Nath is just about out of work the bridge is just about done and we are trying to decide what we should do, Steph and Jon are getting married in a few months, so there are a few things to plan and we are just to figure out what God would like us to do, so we are going to knock on a whole bunch of doors and see what opens and what our options are. If you have a moment and your praying please add us to your list, direction would be great.

I am excited for the summer and the plans we are going to make, I am excited to have Nath off for the summer or at least part of it! I want to camp like crazy and enjoy the sun which I really hope is going to visit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The new cat I want...............

I found a poem I love today, this is the cat that I want to have. I loved talking to my cat when I lived at home and sometimes I enjoyed so much that she never really said anything back, but then I read this poem and for today I want a kitten just like this one.


My kitten won't stop talking.
She just prattles night and day.
She walks around repeating
nearly everything I say.
My kitten never says, "Meow."
She never even purrs.
She mimics me instead in that annoying voice of hers.
She waits for me to speak,
and then she copies every word,
or begs me for a cracker,or says, "I'm a pretty bird.
"I'm not sure what to do, and so I simply grin and bear it.
She's been this way since yesterday;
that's when she ate my parrot.

ken-nesbitt

the last 2 weeks...................

Welllll!!!!!!!!! It has been a crazy 2 weeks, i went to the island to spend a few days with my mom and take her to see a surgeon, visited in port for a wee while, Came back over with my dad and visited my nephew for a couple of days, then nath had his 26th birthday and we went to the keg, yummy, then we had Jon and Sean for the weekend, then it was our 6th anniversary then I had a day at home by myself where i went to visit Kate and then my in laws came to visit and go to the w.o.a conference in surrey which was sooooooo good and they all left Saturday, Sunday we went to church a 12:30 and out for dinner afterwards with some great family and friends got home around 7 pm and now it is Monday and I am tired!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The perfect date ............

So tonight nath and I went out for dinner to Sammy j peppers, which is always great. Well once it was not but that was only because someone had taken one of their ketchup bottles and poured a bottle of their habanero sauce into it. So I ate french fries dipped in this special sauce thinking it was ketchup and just about earned myself the Heimlich maneuver from my hubby because he thought I was choking. I was actually gasping because my throat was on fire and i wasn't quite sure what had happened. Yes drama queen i know, but when you are eating ketchup and fries with fish you do not expect to have watering eyes and a burning throat, it was weird and nath thought I was crazy until i made him try everything on my plate so he would know i was not and a few minutes later i was all happy because his eyes were watering and he was trying to cough up a lung! We drank a ton of water and milk and the restaurant paid for dinner that night. Tonight was great though, their lobster rolls are so good and the jerk chicken chowder is great too.
At dinner we were trying to decide where we wanted to go for our 6th anniversary and what the ideal date would be and they are very different. Nate would like to go squamish and hike up up to Shannon falls, pack lunch and spend the day outside, it is really beautiful up there but it is still so cold out and our anniversary is only 2 weeks away I have a feeling the weather isn't going to change much in that time. I would like to go to a monster truck rally drink lots of coffee and eat hot dogs, so I have no idea what we should do to celebrate but I am sure we will come up with something, 6 years yay!
We might get a chance to go away but were not sure yet, he doesn't have that much work left so he is taking anything he can right now. Maybe Easter weekend we can take off for a bit, we will have to see.
I figure 6 years is pretty good, so far so good, it has been a lot of fun and I can't wait to see what happens next and hopefully it will be as good as the last 6 ! Hopefully!

shopping for the perfect dress.............

This weekend was a lot of fun, Stephanie was over and on Saturday we went to see if we could find her a wedding dress.

First of all we chose the dress shops on HASTINGS, yes , I know what your thinking , why!!!!!! we should have known better but we had heard so many things about the great dress shops there. Now truth be told that was when I was getting married so that would be about 7 years ago now.So needless to say we should have stayed away and listened to Lalaina when she mentioned that New West had the most beautiful dress shops, but we didn't , we got in the car with no maps or directions of any kind so we headed off to the only ones we new of. That is why we got a cramped little store with only one person on staff when we arrived and she was not that happy to see us at all , now I am sure she was tired and over worked but it just wasn't quite the experience we were hoping to have . They have that no shoes in the store rule which isn't so bad in most places but this was not a pretty carpet it looked something pulled from the shed in someones backyard,soooo not pretty at all. I really hope my feet don't come down with something because I had no socks on that day, my poor flintstone feet. Steph's sister sharlene met up with us and saved the day she mentioned there was a bridal store in brentwood mall, called Bryon's Bridal. It was exactly what a dress shop should be , beautiful with tons of dresses and you met with a consultant who helped you thru the process and at the end they gave us complimentary bottled water with a picture of a bride on it and the stores name, might sound cheesy but we like the perks! Steph picked the most beautiful dress I have ever seen, it is perfect . It was the first dress she tried on and then she was done, she didn't want to try anymore on, she had found the one she wanted, it is really beautiful. We had fun and it was great to dress her up in all the princess dresses. Soooooo much fun to be a girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This Wedding is going to lovely.

I have to say I am also excited for all of the parties, bridal showers and torturing along the way!!!!!!!! Let the scheming begin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yay!

Yay for me , i finally did it today i went to the gym! I was not there for very long because it got very busy and that is too many people for me, but it was nice to get out and use my muscles. I think tomorrow i will go earlier and hopefully it will stay nice and quiet. I think i will pack a bigger bag with some books and hang out in the library afterwards or maybe sit in the hot tub tomorrow. It is a very nice community centre it has a huge pool with crazy slides, gymnasium to play sports in, gym to work out in, a coffee shop a clothing shop and a library. I hope I get comfortable there very fast. I ate well so far today, tons of veggies, little bit of protein and I made myself a sugar free vanilla latte with cinnamon, so it tastes exactly like a cinnamon dolce latte at starbucks and costs way less with a lot less carbs! So i am happy girl , i am a sleepy girl now but I i did get most of my house work done and dinner is on it's way to being almost ready, laundry is just about caught up and I accomplished my break the cycle goal. Nath is reading some psychology book on choice and one of things he got out of his book , at least I think it was this book he reads a lot, sooo break the cycle, everyday you do one thing different than you would usually do to keep your life moving and more enjoyable, so yesterday i got a gym membership and today i used it, tomorrow maybe I will go swimming, maybe.But maybe I will do something else, not sure yet. But it does help me push myself a little bit everyday I don't have to be a new person overnight but one little thing at a time and slowly but surely I will accomplish some goals i have for myself. So on with today................

mmm....more protein

What a fun night...hanging out after church with some great friends , new and old, i love that God knows who we need and what we need, I had a blast tonight and I am so excited for the next couple of months, new adventures, new possibilities, discovering new things about myself and those around me.

Weeeelllll today is day 3 of sticking to this precious diet, perfectly, well almost perfectly I had more fat in my food today than I probably should have and I have not been counting my fat just enjoying red meat!! I cannot handle chicken for a few more days for sure so I am sticking to the beautiful steak cooked perfectly by my amazing hubby, I really like medium rare but i don't like to look at it, so i eat it in the dark basically but it tastes soooo yummy. A few grilled mushrooms and onions and I am a happy girl!!! Thank goodness to day the cravings for all the other foods are gone it usually takes 3 days of low carbing and it did so now I feel great, with a very clear mind. Add sugar and I get so foggy brained! But it is still fun to add the sugar sometimes! Especially when I am in the mood to bake! I wish Nath wasn't so health conscious sometimes, I know that sounds dumb but only because it would be so much more fun to cook and bake for him if he didn't want all of that good stuff to be soo good for you! He is so happy with steamed vegetables and chicken. Booooring, and with low carb my menu is even worse. But if I do it properly I should n have to eat this way for the rest of my life, six more months maybe eight at the most. The cost of feeling sooo much better is boring food and tons of water, but the clarity really is great. Plus it is nice to have a little more fun shopping for clothes than I have had in the last few years, I have all of these clothes I was waiting to wear, and I waited too long, Somehow I missed it and now they are too big, nath just laughed when i tried them on and told me to toss them, most still had the tags on them, and there were some very cute summer dresses i looked very hard for, kinda sad but at the same time not sad, bittersweet i suppose. I am just cheap though I don't want to spend money on clothes right now, i want to wait and buy summer clothes in bright colors, I own a lot of black and I can never find anything because it is ALL black , my bedroom floor is really the black hole, I find my clothes best by putting my hand into the pit of clothing and feeling for specific materials, way faster than trying to see what is what.

So cute purses, cute shoes, good food, lots of water, green tea, good books, great friends new and old, incredible husband and best bud. Amazing creator, who gives me my purpose. Family I love, nieces and nephews I adore and so much more i am very thankful. I love being a girl as well, i would not want to be a guy, i really am thankful to be this girl.

So off to bed i go or I am thinking about possibly reading, i should go to sleep but I am not sure how tired I actually am...guess we'll see.

Party weekend...

well today is back to reality, we had a really good weekend away, but I am glad to be home. the first thing I managed to do as I trudged up the snow hill to the chalet was stumble in the snow and throw my back out! So frustrating! It is still out!So i spent the entire time indoors this trip which was unfortunate but what can you do? I could barely walk around the chalet so there was no way i was heading out to see what other damage I could do. On Friday night we were able to attend the family engagement party for Steph and Jon and that was a ton of fun, i miss everyone so much it was nice to get together and be very loud for awhile. I am looking forward to the bridal showers and parties that will be thrown in the next year, I think it will be so much fun. I know there will points of stress too, as there was already one incident but you know what we will all live and go on and as the waitress said this weekend, weddings and funerals bring out the worst and the best in people. I believe that to be true, so I am going to relax and stick to my rules.

#1 fun, fun,fun!!!! You will probably only do this once, so lets celebrate like crazy!

#2 the bride and groom always pick the guest list at which ever party I am throwing, that takes the pressure off me and they get to be embarrassed and tortured in front of the people of their choosing.

#3 never go into any type of party planning without great amounts of coffee, sugar and back up plans.

#4 Always have great music on hand it can cure any terrible silence and then bring on #3 sugar and coffee, great combo.

#5 have my hubby close by whenever I can, even just a text away he brings a wonderful kind of peace fullness to my thinking, and he makes me laugh which is a direct killer of Trina tension.

The family dinner/party went very well, the room could only hold so many so Jon and Steph had both of their families and a few close friends. They were very cute to watch. We had bridal magazines on the tables and a few little booklets everyone could fill out, one for wedding ideas, one for marriage advice and one to predict Jon and Steph's future, it was great to see what everyone wrote and it kept us all busy while we waited for the food! The bubbles helped to keep us entertained as well.

So now I am going to get back on the wagon and eat healthy and exercise, it is hard to do through such a party week , but I did eat tons of veggies and dip and tons of trail mix, so the rest

was not as bad as it could have been. Today is about the Pilates and the Greek salad, and I am sure i will enjoy it very much.

yummy

so today is started and I still have lots to do before we leave tomorrow. I still need to find some snow pants and boots, didn find any yesterday although I did get all of the grocery shopping done, so yay! This morning I had Greek salad for breakfast, nath offered eggs when he was making his omelet, but the liquid eggs whites make me want to ...So i had salad, yummy.

So the short little plan for today is eat well, exercise if I can fit it in but the truth is I have a ton of stuff to do and I am not sure if there is time, so eat well, be positive, think happy thoughts and today should run hopefully okay!

On plan-making great choices....

well so far so good today, I am on plan and making my way to some new and exciting things! Today I am packing for Mt. Washington, we are heading up there on Wednesday to spend a couple of days in the snow! I am looking forward to a couple days of light thinking and relaxing, I am determined to be pink and fluffy this week all about fun and NOTHING else!No stress, no real stuff, just the fun, fluffy stuff this week. I am going shopping today to look for boots and snow pants i didn get to go the other day so I will head out today to do that. I am making naths dinner right now, doing laundry, washing dishes and packing our suitcases. My sweet hubby needs a couple of days off and we will get a mini vacation away! 5 days to spend together. Yay! i am so happy about that, I really miss him while he works.

So in order to stay on plan I have decided to take a walk down photograph lane today and remind myself what 50 pounds looks like and realize that even though i am not done i am a work in progress and even though 50 feels like 10 it isn't and it does make a difference! So the rest of today s plan is:

Pilates again -ouch

weights

food, protein for breakfast-done

plan for lunch is 3.5 ounces of protein and lots of veggies

same for dinner with 2 servings of bread substitutes and 6 strawberries for dessert.

keep going yay! it will be worth it!!!!!!!!

yesterday church was perfect for me, i was miserable in the morning my hips were so unhappy with the weather, silly arthritis, I didn't think I would even be getting out of bed but I did and service was so worth it, every song felt amazing. This morning i got up and read a few chapters of the book , The awesome power and privilege of a woman's voice, so good , it was for me , I love it all. It really spoke to me, just amazing. I can have strength in ways I am not used to , I can change things for my family and loved ones by using my voice in kindness and so many other strengths, i do not need to be afraid I need to trust God and believe He is guiding my steps, trust His leading . I am not alone. I love it!

change everything

Today i woke up and i want to change everything, not just a few things in my life, everything. I have this desire to sell most of our stuff, pack the rest up and move somewhere exotic. Where there is lots of sun all year round and where I will wake up every morning beside the ocean, yes in my mind I am a obvious millionaire as well but this is the dream today. I also would like to be a children's author who is actually talented enough to write and illustrate her own books. I would love to work from home on my lap top and on the side I would share a photography business with my closest friend. I want more knowledge than my energy level seems to have time for. I want to drink homemade fresh squeezed orange juice every morning after i swim in the warm ocean beside my house, eat a banana and peanut butter sandwich for lunch everyday while I read Persuasion and have BBQ veggies on a pineapple chicken skewer every evening for dinner, I want to do yoga before i go to bed on my veranda beside the ocean and fall asleep peacefully for 8 hours. Now some of these things are possible, I can eat all those foods if i want and read the book and do yoga, but unfortunately the house on the beach isn't going to happen anytime soon, but in my head it is lovely. Today I want something different than I have ever had, i am not sure even what but something different, I want to make big changes and learn to let go of some things I am holding onto, i am trying to figure out if I am falling into the same routine as usual by doing what is expected of me and I am wondering why i choose to do it this way? Can I walk away from expectations and ever have peace within myself because I am making my own decisions. What does God really want from my life? I know I want to please Him more than anything. So today this is what I want to know, what should I change, what should I keep the same, what should I plan for my future and what to let go of.

i am having a teddy bear in the dumpster day, once upon a time Port Alberni had a lot of flooding going on and we lost a garage full of stuff, and in the midst of us cleaning out the garage my husband picked up this old ratty one armed bear and said it needed to go into the dumpster, then came the water works, here i am sobbing over the thought of this poor one armed bear laying in a heap of garbage at the dump, i thought it was the saddest thing ever( needless to say i was a little emotional that day)so i cried and he laughed his head off and hugged me.

It's just one of those days. Today is a day for silly tears and hugs.....

sunshine, engagements, workouts.........

Well this is a very good week, my brother in law has proposed and is engaged to a beautiful girl who is already my sister and now it will be official we will be legal, yes I am a goof , I know. I still love that saying that friends are the family you choose, i have so many I am so close to and who feel like they are my family. I am so happy for Jon and Steph, it should be quite the party. Or parties, they will all be soo much fun!!!!

Wedding planning can be so much fun or way too stressful, I hope it is fun and not too stressful for them. I loved planning mine, my mother in law told me at the beginning to pick a few things that were really important to me and then be willing to compromise on the other things, so I did and it worked out pretty well, there were a few moments that I wished we had eloped but only a few and when it was over i was very happy with how the day went. Lots of flowers, little fairies, a dress I loved and nathan , of course.

So yesterday I did a really hard workout with weights in the evening , nath showed me some exercises from his men's health magazine and today i am paying for it dearly my thighs want to run away from me, far far away, I hate lunges. So I guess that is how you make a change! And that is how I will have more fun at nanaimo river this year!

Yay! weddings! Yay! camping

sunshine .................

I have plans for the sunshine, I am so excited . I want the sun to stay and melt away the last of this yucky white stuff. I know I am a few months ahead of myself but the thought of sitting outside in the warm weather makes me so happy. i want to go camping at nanaimo river, squamish and hopefully Roley lake too. I want to camp again at stamp falls with Kate and the kids like last July, so much fun!I want to take beautiful warm pictures with the pretty green grass in them.......................... I want to go with the kids to the water park and maybe even the water slides. I want to go on picnics in place of dinner at home I want to play soft ball, soccer,volleyball, badminton and many many more sports.....I want to be outside in the nice hot sun..

conceal nothing, communicate nothing

My thoughts are everywhere to day so feel free not to read the craziness that is me.

My husband is one of the most interesting people I know and part of what makes him interesting is the risks he thoroughly enjoys taking, he will push the limits all the time where most of us would give up at the tough part, he is actually interested to see what new goal he can reach.Most of us would be happy that we even made it up the hiking trail but he isn't satisfied until he has found a cliff to dive off of or a rock wall to climb 200 feet in the air, and if there is nothing else but a nice park with picnic tables you will see him leaping over them and flipping off of them practicing something called park hour( check it out on you tube it is pretty interesting) Our thinking is very different I am thinking wow he is really amazing but he is going to kill himself and he is looking for the next crazy challenge thinking he needs to find something harder to do than the last, our views are very different but when it comes to the end of our lives will he have had more fun me, probably.

There is another side to this , he really doesn't have the stamina to last through a girls night with my friends lets be honest he would be trying to fling himself out of the nearest window just to escape the chaotic combination of Kate, Steph and myself. And that is just a few of us. Embrace our differences i say. Nath and I know how different we are from each other and that is why we work,(well for now lol!)it's a good balance. We always know when we need our time apart we could never be one of the couples that doesn't have individual time with their friends, i need girl time and he needs guy time. You pick a person to marry because you like them, obvious I know, but part of what you liked about them has come from the friends who have influenced their daily life. I know people move away and grow apart and become very different and maybe the friends you have now are not the ones you had back then but as a social person myself I know I need them, even once every 2 months makes a huge difference in my life.I am a better wife and friend to Nath when I have spent time with others. We have more fun together when we have spent time apart. We are way more fun and light hearted.Now we don't have kids yet so maybe things will change when we do but for now that works for us.

sense and sensibility, one of my favorites stories

The difference between the two sisters is part of what I love about this story. Do we reap what we sew, those who are kind and hold their tongues while the rest run around doing what they want, when they want, saying what they want and bringing all kinds of awkward moments into the lives of those around them, which would you prefer to be the one who seems to enjoy the crazy journey of ups and downs or the one who waits patiently for her turn hoping in the end she will have something that is hers with no great expectations of what it might be?

i admire both characters because there are SO many moments in my past that I wished I would have held my tongue and not verbally vomited the first thing that came to mind.I believe there is something great reserved for those who are quiet and don't speak when they want to yell and scream at the world around. I am sure the have a huge mansion in heaven with a back yard full of waterfalls and fruit fairies, and their very own personal karaoke club on the eighteenth floor where they have a captive audience who has to listen anytime they want to sing or yell or perform stand up comedy.

The other side the impulsive fun one who takes a few more risks and is not afraid of failing, getting hurt or looking like a fool in front of those surrounding her because the potential prize is worth that risk. This sounds like fun and I am sure they never get sick because they never hold anything in. But is the risk worth the possible damage that could be done or bridges that could be burnt, the whole point of this person is that she would never stop long enough to ask these questions so they really don't matter.

I would love to be one who is willing to take a risk but smart enough or i suppose wise enough to hold my tongue when it is truly needed. I believe it is necessary to take risks and not be afraid of everything but where to the draw the line? A matter i have to figure out between me and God I suppose. Is it possible that there is a time and place for bridges to be burnt? Would I be willing to stand up for something I truly wanted, willing to fight for it, I hope so. For now I would like to be a combination of personalities, I admire so many people I would like to take a little bit of everything from them all.

Yesterday Nath and I discussed being self aware( As i type this my husband is sleep walking around the house and has turned off all of the lights while he looks for his work things grumping at me to find them,I choose to ignore this and laugh a little, I am not going to direct him back to sleep tonight, This time I will just let him wander till he finally goes back to where he belongs, I am sitting in the dark now though, it's kind of nice I guess.) anyway our discussion this week was if we really are self aware, because I want to be , i think I have grown a lot in the last two years making a point of trying to be self aware so that my quick comments or paragraphs of sarcasm are not making someone else uncomfortable but leaving plenty of room for us all to be ourselves not boxing anyone into one category or another. Sarcasm can clear a room faster than you know what. And i am very sarcastic, working on it but it is my first natural instinct! I suppose what I dislike more than anything is someone assuming they know everything about me and not giving me room to just be. So the question is don't we ALL think we are being self aware? How do you know if you are or not, Nath said he figured if your asking that question, "am I self aware"your probably just fine and very self aware, but I am not convinced.Plus I have not had a lot of sleep in the past 2 weeks so if this makes no sense feel free not to read, I love this outlet no matter how crazy I sound.

I want to be in a tropical place this week, i want to lay in the sun for hours and hours!!!!!!!

I also want to rent a jet ski, probably 2 because I DO NOT want to share with my husband I want to drive my own , I love him but I know he would want to drive the whole time and that is half the fun.

I also want to buy property on the lake so during the summers my friends can come and camp on the property and we could spend the summers driving jets skis and going tubing! I am in a dream world now but I like it, plus my kids would love it as well.

moving to greece

I have decided to move to greece I think I will take nath with me and I am going to live on a island and feel very zen.....................................................................................................crystal water , yup I am going.

My very own January 1st

Happy new year! yay!

That is today for me this will be the first chance I have to stop entertaining others and focus on the year ahead, the last month and the first 10 days of January didn really belong to me so now I can move on and begin my new year.

Today I am going to make fajitas for my hubby
write my resolutions or focus list whatever you want to call it
write a big long list of things to do to my home to make it ready for this new year, clean surfaces, junk put away but also readily available for when I have changed my mind and want to use it. Throw out lots of clothes.
lots of room for nath to do his painting and leaving my easel out so I can do the same
write a exercise schedule, they won't give me surgery on my back so then I am going to learn to love yoga and Pilate's! let's see what God can do when I do everything in my power to make things better, it has got to be better than my doctors suggestion of buying a machine that hangs me upside down to take the pressure off a few times a day, ya I am not kidding that was the best suggestion
make a collage of things I want this year I have a stack of magazines, scissors, glue and crayola markers, something i can look at and visualize what I want to happen in the next year
positive, positive, positive
Prayer list for my prayer closet: pray more than thinking or talking
make a business plan
make a meal plan that suits both nath and I: I have lost 49 pounds , and for once in my life I didn't gain over Christmas, I would like to continue losing and be a healthier , happier person by June when I want to start camping!!!!!!!!!
make a frozen foods list for my freezer, what can be made ahead , must be made ahead of time

I am excited about this new year I believe it will be better than the last one. i want to visit more with friends, make new friends , work for God in which ever way I can, serve the community I don't know how but I will find a way,exercise more, eat better and love it, think clearly, speak kindly , stop having imaginary arguments with those who are not my favorite people, give people room to grow, love the changes that are happening in my own life, realize I cannot change what others think about or assume about my life or the decisions I make. make peace with that. Trust that God made me exactly who I am and that he is leading me, TRUST HIM. spend more time with my nieces and nephews and all of the kids in my life because they are the best humans around and they make me a better human. visit people with pets I love animals but i don't think I want one right now but i do love to visit them. pray more think less, speak words of life. eat chocolate once a month no matter what diet I am on. drink great coffee with friends and laugh so much that if my hubby was there he would actually be embarrassed of me. that sounds better than laugh till you pee , right? Read, read, read, read.
Start a word journal, pick a reading bible buddy, accountability is key...budget, learn how to live in a budget better so one day we can do cool things. these are some of my plans and thoughts for the next year...i will think of more as the day goes on and I will add to the crazy list.

Happy new to everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! leave behind 2008 and run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that's my plan.