sunshine .................

I have plans for the sunshine, I am so excited . I want the sun to stay and melt away the last of this yucky white stuff. I know I am a few months ahead of myself but the thought of sitting outside in the warm weather makes me so happy. i want to go camping at nanaimo river, squamish and hopefully Roley lake too. I want to camp again at stamp falls with Kate and the kids like last July, so much fun!I want to take beautiful warm pictures with the pretty green grass in them.......................... I want to go with the kids to the water park and maybe even the water slides. I want to go on picnics in place of dinner at home I want to play soft ball, soccer,volleyball, badminton and many many more sports.....I want to be outside in the nice hot sun..

conceal nothing, communicate nothing

My thoughts are everywhere to day so feel free not to read the craziness that is me.

My husband is one of the most interesting people I know and part of what makes him interesting is the risks he thoroughly enjoys taking, he will push the limits all the time where most of us would give up at the tough part, he is actually interested to see what new goal he can reach.Most of us would be happy that we even made it up the hiking trail but he isn't satisfied until he has found a cliff to dive off of or a rock wall to climb 200 feet in the air, and if there is nothing else but a nice park with picnic tables you will see him leaping over them and flipping off of them practicing something called park hour( check it out on you tube it is pretty interesting) Our thinking is very different I am thinking wow he is really amazing but he is going to kill himself and he is looking for the next crazy challenge thinking he needs to find something harder to do than the last, our views are very different but when it comes to the end of our lives will he have had more fun me, probably.

There is another side to this , he really doesn't have the stamina to last through a girls night with my friends lets be honest he would be trying to fling himself out of the nearest window just to escape the chaotic combination of Kate, Steph and myself. And that is just a few of us. Embrace our differences i say. Nath and I know how different we are from each other and that is why we work,(well for now lol!)it's a good balance. We always know when we need our time apart we could never be one of the couples that doesn't have individual time with their friends, i need girl time and he needs guy time. You pick a person to marry because you like them, obvious I know, but part of what you liked about them has come from the friends who have influenced their daily life. I know people move away and grow apart and become very different and maybe the friends you have now are not the ones you had back then but as a social person myself I know I need them, even once every 2 months makes a huge difference in my life.I am a better wife and friend to Nath when I have spent time with others. We have more fun together when we have spent time apart. We are way more fun and light hearted.Now we don't have kids yet so maybe things will change when we do but for now that works for us.

sense and sensibility, one of my favorites stories

The difference between the two sisters is part of what I love about this story. Do we reap what we sew, those who are kind and hold their tongues while the rest run around doing what they want, when they want, saying what they want and bringing all kinds of awkward moments into the lives of those around them, which would you prefer to be the one who seems to enjoy the crazy journey of ups and downs or the one who waits patiently for her turn hoping in the end she will have something that is hers with no great expectations of what it might be?

i admire both characters because there are SO many moments in my past that I wished I would have held my tongue and not verbally vomited the first thing that came to mind.I believe there is something great reserved for those who are quiet and don't speak when they want to yell and scream at the world around. I am sure the have a huge mansion in heaven with a back yard full of waterfalls and fruit fairies, and their very own personal karaoke club on the eighteenth floor where they have a captive audience who has to listen anytime they want to sing or yell or perform stand up comedy.

The other side the impulsive fun one who takes a few more risks and is not afraid of failing, getting hurt or looking like a fool in front of those surrounding her because the potential prize is worth that risk. This sounds like fun and I am sure they never get sick because they never hold anything in. But is the risk worth the possible damage that could be done or bridges that could be burnt, the whole point of this person is that she would never stop long enough to ask these questions so they really don't matter.

I would love to be one who is willing to take a risk but smart enough or i suppose wise enough to hold my tongue when it is truly needed. I believe it is necessary to take risks and not be afraid of everything but where to the draw the line? A matter i have to figure out between me and God I suppose. Is it possible that there is a time and place for bridges to be burnt? Would I be willing to stand up for something I truly wanted, willing to fight for it, I hope so. For now I would like to be a combination of personalities, I admire so many people I would like to take a little bit of everything from them all.

Yesterday Nath and I discussed being self aware( As i type this my husband is sleep walking around the house and has turned off all of the lights while he looks for his work things grumping at me to find them,I choose to ignore this and laugh a little, I am not going to direct him back to sleep tonight, This time I will just let him wander till he finally goes back to where he belongs, I am sitting in the dark now though, it's kind of nice I guess.) anyway our discussion this week was if we really are self aware, because I want to be , i think I have grown a lot in the last two years making a point of trying to be self aware so that my quick comments or paragraphs of sarcasm are not making someone else uncomfortable but leaving plenty of room for us all to be ourselves not boxing anyone into one category or another. Sarcasm can clear a room faster than you know what. And i am very sarcastic, working on it but it is my first natural instinct! I suppose what I dislike more than anything is someone assuming they know everything about me and not giving me room to just be. So the question is don't we ALL think we are being self aware? How do you know if you are or not, Nath said he figured if your asking that question, "am I self aware"your probably just fine and very self aware, but I am not convinced.Plus I have not had a lot of sleep in the past 2 weeks so if this makes no sense feel free not to read, I love this outlet no matter how crazy I sound.

I want to be in a tropical place this week, i want to lay in the sun for hours and hours!!!!!!!

I also want to rent a jet ski, probably 2 because I DO NOT want to share with my husband I want to drive my own , I love him but I know he would want to drive the whole time and that is half the fun.

I also want to buy property on the lake so during the summers my friends can come and camp on the property and we could spend the summers driving jets skis and going tubing! I am in a dream world now but I like it, plus my kids would love it as well.

moving to greece

I have decided to move to greece I think I will take nath with me and I am going to live on a island and feel very zen.....................................................................................................crystal water , yup I am going.

My very own January 1st

Happy new year! yay!

That is today for me this will be the first chance I have to stop entertaining others and focus on the year ahead, the last month and the first 10 days of January didn really belong to me so now I can move on and begin my new year.

Today I am going to make fajitas for my hubby
write my resolutions or focus list whatever you want to call it
write a big long list of things to do to my home to make it ready for this new year, clean surfaces, junk put away but also readily available for when I have changed my mind and want to use it. Throw out lots of clothes.
lots of room for nath to do his painting and leaving my easel out so I can do the same
write a exercise schedule, they won't give me surgery on my back so then I am going to learn to love yoga and Pilate's! let's see what God can do when I do everything in my power to make things better, it has got to be better than my doctors suggestion of buying a machine that hangs me upside down to take the pressure off a few times a day, ya I am not kidding that was the best suggestion
make a collage of things I want this year I have a stack of magazines, scissors, glue and crayola markers, something i can look at and visualize what I want to happen in the next year
positive, positive, positive
Prayer list for my prayer closet: pray more than thinking or talking
make a business plan
make a meal plan that suits both nath and I: I have lost 49 pounds , and for once in my life I didn't gain over Christmas, I would like to continue losing and be a healthier , happier person by June when I want to start camping!!!!!!!!!
make a frozen foods list for my freezer, what can be made ahead , must be made ahead of time

I am excited about this new year I believe it will be better than the last one. i want to visit more with friends, make new friends , work for God in which ever way I can, serve the community I don't know how but I will find a way,exercise more, eat better and love it, think clearly, speak kindly , stop having imaginary arguments with those who are not my favorite people, give people room to grow, love the changes that are happening in my own life, realize I cannot change what others think about or assume about my life or the decisions I make. make peace with that. Trust that God made me exactly who I am and that he is leading me, TRUST HIM. spend more time with my nieces and nephews and all of the kids in my life because they are the best humans around and they make me a better human. visit people with pets I love animals but i don't think I want one right now but i do love to visit them. pray more think less, speak words of life. eat chocolate once a month no matter what diet I am on. drink great coffee with friends and laugh so much that if my hubby was there he would actually be embarrassed of me. that sounds better than laugh till you pee , right? Read, read, read, read.
Start a word journal, pick a reading bible buddy, accountability is key...budget, learn how to live in a budget better so one day we can do cool things. these are some of my plans and thoughts for the next year...i will think of more as the day goes on and I will add to the crazy list.

Happy new to everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! leave behind 2008 and run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that's my plan.