conceal nothing, communicate nothing

My thoughts are everywhere to day so feel free not to read the craziness that is me.

My husband is one of the most interesting people I know and part of what makes him interesting is the risks he thoroughly enjoys taking, he will push the limits all the time where most of us would give up at the tough part, he is actually interested to see what new goal he can reach.Most of us would be happy that we even made it up the hiking trail but he isn't satisfied until he has found a cliff to dive off of or a rock wall to climb 200 feet in the air, and if there is nothing else but a nice park with picnic tables you will see him leaping over them and flipping off of them practicing something called park hour( check it out on you tube it is pretty interesting) Our thinking is very different I am thinking wow he is really amazing but he is going to kill himself and he is looking for the next crazy challenge thinking he needs to find something harder to do than the last, our views are very different but when it comes to the end of our lives will he have had more fun me, probably.

There is another side to this , he really doesn't have the stamina to last through a girls night with my friends lets be honest he would be trying to fling himself out of the nearest window just to escape the chaotic combination of Kate, Steph and myself. And that is just a few of us. Embrace our differences i say. Nath and I know how different we are from each other and that is why we work,(well for now lol!)it's a good balance. We always know when we need our time apart we could never be one of the couples that doesn't have individual time with their friends, i need girl time and he needs guy time. You pick a person to marry because you like them, obvious I know, but part of what you liked about them has come from the friends who have influenced their daily life. I know people move away and grow apart and become very different and maybe the friends you have now are not the ones you had back then but as a social person myself I know I need them, even once every 2 months makes a huge difference in my life.I am a better wife and friend to Nath when I have spent time with others. We have more fun together when we have spent time apart. We are way more fun and light hearted.Now we don't have kids yet so maybe things will change when we do but for now that works for us.

sense and sensibility, one of my favorites stories

The difference between the two sisters is part of what I love about this story. Do we reap what we sew, those who are kind and hold their tongues while the rest run around doing what they want, when they want, saying what they want and bringing all kinds of awkward moments into the lives of those around them, which would you prefer to be the one who seems to enjoy the crazy journey of ups and downs or the one who waits patiently for her turn hoping in the end she will have something that is hers with no great expectations of what it might be?

i admire both characters because there are SO many moments in my past that I wished I would have held my tongue and not verbally vomited the first thing that came to mind.I believe there is something great reserved for those who are quiet and don't speak when they want to yell and scream at the world around. I am sure the have a huge mansion in heaven with a back yard full of waterfalls and fruit fairies, and their very own personal karaoke club on the eighteenth floor where they have a captive audience who has to listen anytime they want to sing or yell or perform stand up comedy.

The other side the impulsive fun one who takes a few more risks and is not afraid of failing, getting hurt or looking like a fool in front of those surrounding her because the potential prize is worth that risk. This sounds like fun and I am sure they never get sick because they never hold anything in. But is the risk worth the possible damage that could be done or bridges that could be burnt, the whole point of this person is that she would never stop long enough to ask these questions so they really don't matter.

I would love to be one who is willing to take a risk but smart enough or i suppose wise enough to hold my tongue when it is truly needed. I believe it is necessary to take risks and not be afraid of everything but where to the draw the line? A matter i have to figure out between me and God I suppose. Is it possible that there is a time and place for bridges to be burnt? Would I be willing to stand up for something I truly wanted, willing to fight for it, I hope so. For now I would like to be a combination of personalities, I admire so many people I would like to take a little bit of everything from them all.

Yesterday Nath and I discussed being self aware( As i type this my husband is sleep walking around the house and has turned off all of the lights while he looks for his work things grumping at me to find them,I choose to ignore this and laugh a little, I am not going to direct him back to sleep tonight, This time I will just let him wander till he finally goes back to where he belongs, I am sitting in the dark now though, it's kind of nice I guess.) anyway our discussion this week was if we really are self aware, because I want to be , i think I have grown a lot in the last two years making a point of trying to be self aware so that my quick comments or paragraphs of sarcasm are not making someone else uncomfortable but leaving plenty of room for us all to be ourselves not boxing anyone into one category or another. Sarcasm can clear a room faster than you know what. And i am very sarcastic, working on it but it is my first natural instinct! I suppose what I dislike more than anything is someone assuming they know everything about me and not giving me room to just be. So the question is don't we ALL think we are being self aware? How do you know if you are or not, Nath said he figured if your asking that question, "am I self aware"your probably just fine and very self aware, but I am not convinced.Plus I have not had a lot of sleep in the past 2 weeks so if this makes no sense feel free not to read, I love this outlet no matter how crazy I sound.

I want to be in a tropical place this week, i want to lay in the sun for hours and hours!!!!!!!

I also want to rent a jet ski, probably 2 because I DO NOT want to share with my husband I want to drive my own , I love him but I know he would want to drive the whole time and that is half the fun.

I also want to buy property on the lake so during the summers my friends can come and camp on the property and we could spend the summers driving jets skis and going tubing! I am in a dream world now but I like it, plus my kids would love it as well.